This week, I am going to tell you a story about how I nearly looked like an ego driven idiot.
Leave your ego at the door every morning, and just do some truly great work. Few things will make you feel better than a job brilliantly done – Robin S. Sharma
I am a Legend on the Dance Floor
Your ego is a perception of you, created in your mind to define who you are. It’s built from your experiences and what people have said to you. As it is a perception, you can influence and change it.
You will recognise it when you think about yourself i.e. I am a great leader, I am a great dad and I am definitely a legend on the dance floor.
Your ego will always look for evidence that it is correct and tends to ignore evidence to the contrary. It can’t be dad dancing.
How Dare She
During my training as a coach, my mentor evaluated my progress during practical assessments. This is where I have a coaching session with one of my clients and my mentor listens in.
At the end of the coaching session, I reflect with my mentor on what went well and what needs improvement. The assessment is graded as either a fail, pass, merit or distinction.
As I improved during my training and coaching sessions with my clients, my grades in my practical assessments also improved.
On my third practical assessment, I was given some great feedback and was graded with a merit. This was positive evidence that I was becoming a good coach.
My fourth practical assessment was a month later and I thought it went well. It must be good grade again. My mentor gave me some feedback on where I could improve and graded me as a pass. I thanked my mentor and hung up the call.
What Does She Know?
A pass, what the hell happened? My mentor must be wrong. It was a great coaching session. I am a good coach; my clients tell me all the time. I am going to call my mentor and challenge the feedback. Wait I thought, let me cool off first.
That afternoon, I reflected on the feedback and replayed the coaching session back in my head. Suddenly it him me, my mentor was right. Can you imagine if I had called her? I would have looked like an ego driven idiot.
My ego was getting in my way. It was ignoring the evidence that I was not as good as I thought I was. Time to learn from this and nail my next assessment.
During the following coaching sessions I used the feedback and a month later I had my fifth practical assessment. I was feeling nervous as this assessment carried a lot of weight in my final coaching diploma grade.
At the end of the assessment, my mentor and I discussed what I did well and what I could improve on. My mentor was pleased with my progress and graded me as a distinction.
I hung up the call and immediately told my family. The learning, lack of ego and hard work had paid off.
A good coach after all, or am I?
I Only Went and Smashed It
As you can see, my ego almost got in the way of me learning, improving and becoming a better coach.
This has taught me a very important lesson. Be aware of my ego by always reflecting on the feedback I receive.
I think Albert Einstein sums up my experience well –
“More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego.”
The next time, you get feedback, reflect and listen for your ego. Don’t let it limit your career success.
Your virtual coach & mentor